Those Perfect Gifts

Since we announced the imminent arrival of our daughter we have been graced with many gifts from those who love us.
There have been a few stand out gifts that have touched my heart a little bit more than others.

Early on my parents sent us these moccasins. They are identical to the ones I had as an infant. Now my daughter will have her own pair to keep her toes warm in the winter. 

David's aunt Joanne made us this beautiful baby blanket for Christmas. It is the softest yarn I have ever felt, and each stitch is made with love. I can't wait to wrap up our baby girl in this beautiful blanket. 

When I was little I had a rabbit rattle named Mitsubishi, a gift from my Aunt and Uncle in Japan. Unfortunately, I lost that little rattle in daycare in elementary school and recently had started to feel extremely sad that I would never be able to pass it to my little girl. This Christmas, a package all the way from Japan arrived with a lovely little rabbit rattle. Its not an exactly replica but it is perfect. It makes the same sound, and is made form the same type of fabric. I'm sure she'll love it. 

We're 9 weeks away from our little girl's arrival! We're so excited and so terrified all at the same time. There's so much to do, and so little time. 

A Box of History

Today, a package arrived from Minnesota with my name scrawled across the top. It was heavy, but packed so that nothing inside shifted as I brought it up the three stories of concrete stairs. I had no idea what was inside it, nor the emotions that would arise when I opened it.

Opening it not brought the smell of the cabin, a flood beloved memory from my childhood. As much as the Minnesota heat made me miserable, Grandma and Grandpa's cabin was a much loved place. It was an adventure, it was a home away from home. 

Quilts packed everything into place safely. They screamed my grandmother's aesthetic, and smelled like the cabin. Nothing I would ever make, but I couldn't help but love. 

Tears ran freely, I didn't even want to hold them back. Writing this, they run freely again. I can't stop them. I miss my grandmother. She drove me crazy, but damnit if she didn't love fiercely and with a passion that is unrivaled. 

Unwrapping the quilts revealed beautiful baby clothes for our daughter. Gifts I never in a million years would have expected. I would give anything for my grandma to know this little girl. This perfect little girl who has made my life a roller coaster. I don't think she would have approved of a baby in my life this early in my life, but she would have loved Natalia no matter what. She would have loved her because she is part of me. I can't wait to put my daughter in those clothes. I'm sure tears will follow, but beautiful, practical clothing from my family... family I barely have contact with anymore is so greatly appreciated anymore. 

There was a beautiful stool, made by my father when he was in junior high. It matches our nursery set quite nicely and will be a a lovely little thing for Natalia to grow up with. 

The bottom of the box was filled with history. My grandma had saved her report cards, cheer leading pictures, newspaper articles that brought her to life again. This time, not as a grandma, but as a vivid multifaceted person I had never known. A woman I wish I had known. 

Among the papers of my grandma's childhood were things from my dad's childhood also. Pictures of his hockey team, a script from Oklahoma, and Boy Scout paraphernalia. 

I feel honored to have been given these things. It reinforces my place as a historian in this world. I need to go get a proper archival file to keep these things safe in. And to continue to keep the pieces of our family history alive. 

2013- a year in review

I don't write nearly as much as I used to, or should, but as I sat here tonight after an epic cleaning spree, watching David play League I started really thinking about this year.
What a year it has been.

I'm not sure there has or will be another year in my life in which I have reached and celebrated so many milestones and had so many life changing events.

Lets start at the beginning and work our way to now, the Sunday before Thanksgiving 2013. There's still a month left in the year so another post may be necessary (not likely) if anything else occurs. Here we go:

In the late winter/early spring I learned my undergrad dissertation was going to be forever kept in the Marvel archives as a piece of history and academia in the studies of popular culture history. This was huge for me and as many young scholars know quite the accomplishment. It never got formally published, but it will be available for anyone studying the history of women in comic books to read through the Marvel archives.

The Black Widow- Marvel Comics

With two weeks notice I planned and performed my best friend's wedding on February 2nd. I was asked to be her maid of honor, but ended up being her minister. I got ordained through the Universal Life Church, and married my best friend to the love of her life in my parent's living room. Their close family and friends attended the small ceremony and everything was quite lovely. It was such an honor for me and I hope a beautiful memory for all that attended.

February 2, 2013
Katie and Zak

May brought my graduation from Washington State University with my Bachelor's of Art in History. My parents came out to celebrate with me, and I couldn't have done it without them and my amazing significant other, David. It was a long and windy road of jumping from major to major but when I found my passion I knew it. History was my calling- and I was going to teach it someday to the next generation of Americans.

WSU Graduation May 2013

Just a month after graduation I got married to the love of my life, David. We had a beautiful ocean side ceremony with our closest friends and family on Oahu. Two weeks in Hawaii was utter bliss and David and I thoroughly enjoyed every moment of it. Our honeymoon was full of adventure and relaxation. Returning to the main land was both sad and exciting. Getting to start our lives together as husband and wife was exhilarating. Upon arrival back in Washington we had a beautiful reception by the Sound and got to celebrate our nuptials with our extended family and friends.

June 3, 2013
Ko' Olani, HI

A few weeks after our return to Pullman from the craziness of nearly a month of wedding/honeymoon/reception excitement we discovered we had conceived our little girl, Natalia. I won't lie- the situation started as shear panic and fear. We hadn't planned on even trying for a baby for a few years so the double pink lines on the test were a shock. As the year has progressed and we have watched my belly grow and felt our baby kick we have fallen more and more in love with her and our unadulterated panic has faded. Don't get me wrong- we have no idea what we are doing, BUT we have an amazing support system and we feel like with my medical history that this may be a beautiful gift that we just hadn't expected so soon. We can't wait to meet our little girl in 2014.

Natalia- 20 weeks

In July I applied for and got hired on at my first full time job as an office assistant at a local podiatry office here in Pullman. Its an amazing job that pays relatively well and the women I work with are amazing. I couldn't ask for a better place to work right now- its very family oriented and relatively laid back. Yes, I spend hours on the phone with insurance companies multiple times a week, but the job is rewarding and I get to help people.

I wish the feet we saw on a daily basis looked like this...

September brought our beautiful healthy nephew, Austin, into the world. We are so happy for Melinda and her husband and wish them nothing less than an amazing adventure. And we hope they'll share some new parent wisdom with us when the time comes! Austin is our first nephew and we can't wait to meet him this Christmas. I'm so excited to be an aunt!

This fall brought news that we were expecting another baby in the family- my brother, Lars, and his girlfriend are expecting their baby in April. No news yet on whether the baby is a boy or a girl but either way we hope they have a healthy pregnancy and a beautiful baby this spring.

This month I legally changed my last name to match my husband's. It was bittersweet, but I do love sharing his name with him. I have always loved my family name, but taking my husband's name was important to both of us. It only took my 5 months of marriage to get it officially changed...

In January of this year I posted "This is my year". If I had known how crazy and amazing this year would be... 

I can't wait to see what next year brings!

Where did summer go?!

We're halfway through October! How did this happen?!
So much has happened since we announced our pregnancy!

• David and I are both working full time. 
• David is in class three times a week, and doing very well. 
• I'm working at a job I love, and growing a healthy baby. 
• We have a friend living with us until December, who graduated from culinary school- so it's like having a live in chef! 
• We found out our baby is a girl!
• I'm growing round! We're halfway through our pregnancy!

See what happens in just a few months? Things happen! Lots of things! 

Last weekend I got to take a short trip to Seattle which was lovely. I got to spend time with my parents and meet my brother's girlfriend for the first time.
I love my trips away from Pullman!
In a few weeks David and I are taking a few days in Spokane to see his family. I'm super excited for that trip! My in-laws are a lot of fun and the weekend is bound to be full of laughs!

 Time seems to be flying by! Before we know it the holidays will be upon us!

A Very Exciting Announcement

That's right! David and I proud to announce that we are expecting a baby!
I am currently 13 weeks pregnant with a very healthy and active baby.

In attempt to limit the amount of pregnancy related posts on this blog I will be putting ultrasounds, results, etc on http://sites.bundleofjoys.com/fugiel/

We are so excited!

1 Month of Marital Bliss

What a month is has been! It's been incredible and a whirlwind of craziness!

David is back in class and at work. He's my superhero the way he go, go, goes! He's an amazing husband and provider.

I've had two interviews for jobs and have been invited back for one 2nd round interview, and waiting to hear from the other. We'll see what happens, I was hoping to have a job already. Oh well, we are getting on just fine.

Its been sweltering hot here. Over 100 degrees for multiple days in a row, but thankfully its starting to cool down here. Not over 100 today! I'll take it as a win!

Wedding Pictures!

Okay, not really but kind of...
Anyways here's the link to the photo album on our photographer's website
You have to register and use the password to view the album. 
Password: fugiel
Hope you like them! We'll be getting the disk for personal use in the next week or so and then they will be on Facebook.
I'm pretty happy with how they turned out. 

Now a Married Woman

As of 2 weeks ago I'm a married woman. Its been a whirlwind of craziness since the end of May.

Now that we've returned to Pullman after 2 and a half weeks away things are starting to return to normal. David had returned to work and class, while I get the house back together and begin searching for a job that has the things I need (benefits mostly).

The wedding, honeymoon, and reception were absolutely beautiful. We're waiting on the professional photos to come in (next few weeks), and the video (14 more weeks) to share with everyone. As of right now all our personal photos are on Facebook so you can check that out if you want. I will also  link to a album of our pro photos when they come in. For now here are a few of my favorite personal photos!

Our Ceremony

Right after the "first look" 

Me and my MOH (Katie)

David and his BM  (Derek)

Hopefully, I'll get my name officially changed in the next few months and that will be done! Now back to unpacking...

Truly done

There we go, grades are posted. I finished off with a decent grade point average and nothing to really complain about. It feels good to know I did it, and I did it well. 

A journey ended, and adventure begun

On Saturday, May 4 2013 I graduated with my Bachelor's of Art degree in History. It was an extremely proud moment that gave me a sense of accomplishment that I had never felt before. Its pretty cool to finally rank at the same level of completed education as my parents. Hopefully, in the next few years I will surpass them in getting my masters!

Now that the journey through my bachelor's degree is over, a new adventure begins. Getting married, devoting my life formally to another person, maybe starting a family, definitely starting a new job- that sounds like a pretty awesome adventure to me.

My amazing parents and I. Without them I would never be where I am today! 

My incredible fiance- his moral support got me through more academic meltdowns than I can even count. 

Commencent for the College of Letters and Science class of 2013!

Commencement was in Beasely Coliseum! Just big enough for all of us!

Uncertainty of a Family

This is a "rant"... more like a 
"get it out there to get it off my mind so I can write my damn final". 
Feel free to skip over.



I know it's a silly thing to be thinking about right now with graduation and my wedding coming up, but after a weekend of being with my in-laws I've started thinking about when David and I might start a family. Being around my pregnant sister-in-law really brought home the reality for us.

Many of you know there's been some question about my fertility and the health of my reproductive system. I won't get to far into it, but the general idea is that I got the crappy genes in our family. Much like my late grandmother I'm having a lot of issues early on with cysts and related problems.

This weekend I heard "get your eggs frozen" multiple times.

Let's break this down, using various fertility clinic's information to get our averages.

A single cycle of "harvesting" is on average $10,000
Most women need 3-4 cycles to get enough eggs to be a viable freezing so actually $30,000

The cost to store the harvested eggs varies but about $500 a month
Ideally we would wait 2 years until David graduates, or more because we should wait until we're settled into the new area. That comes to $12,000 if we go with exactly 2 years of storage.

Then we get to the actual cost of IVF averaging out at $12,400 per cycle
It usually take a few cycles, so lets go with 2 for the sake of being optimistic (there's only an 85% success rate for implantation) so $24,800

Our grand total for "just freeze your eggs" comes to $66,800
Insurance doesn't generally cover these things.

I can appreciate the sentiment of trying to give me a solution, its something I've thought about a lot. But its not a viable option.

In the end, David and I will have to decide if we want a child, and then we'll need to get a couple of opinions from doctors about what my health dictates needs to happen. That may mean a million things, but what it comes down to is that David and I will be making some tough choices and we hope our family will be there to support us no matter what.

Nargles

Pretty sure my house is infested with nargles... they like to steal things you know. Its like a game to them. Hide something, drive the home owner crazy, laugh their little heads off.

Wish they'd give me my stuff back.

I need to give the missing wiimotes to a friend.

I can't quilt until I have my rotary sheers back.

Who knows what else is missing that I haven't realized yet! Silly nargles.

Give me my stuff back!

I'm finally graduating!

After 5 years in University I am finally graduating on May 4th!

It's been 20 years since I first started school, and have basically only known academia for the majority of my life. 

Graduating is the next step in my journey. 

It is absolutely terrifying but I am so very, very excited too! 

My family and friends have been so incredible in helping me on my journey.

I can't even tell you all how much you've helped and inspired me on each step.

I know I'm not done with academia quite yet, I'm hoping to get a graduate degree in the next few years, but from where I stand right now this graduation is the biggest thing to happen in my life.

It may be beat out by my wedding in June... probably.

But none the less. 

I'm three week and a half weeks from walking in commencement.

and all I'm feeling right now is gratitude to those who have helped me.

Thank you.

Thank you,

Mom, Dad & Lars- for supporting and inspiring me

David- for sticking with me through everything and loving me no matter what

Katie- for being my bestest best friend no matter how far apart we are and always being there to support me

Kimberly & Saber-  for being there to help me with my moments of panic

My teachers, professors & TA's- for putting up with my classmates and I

There's probably a thousand people who deserve my gratitude, and I hope they realize how much they have helped me. 

Go Cougs!

Change isn't bad!

Things are changing quickly in my life!

On Thursday I left my job at Pizza Hut for good.
To be honest it might have been one of the best choices I've ever made for myself. My stress levels immediately dropped, I have time to focus on the things I need to. It is a wonderful thing.

I graduate in 4 weeks with my Bachelor's degree.

I'm getting married in less than 8 weeks.

Life is pretty awesome right now!

Ow

Well for the first time I can report an injury that was totally not my fault...

On Tuesday a classmate sprained both my wrists, possible fracturing one, in my self defense class. Unfortunately, the combination of an incompetent instructor and not having the previous knowledge that this particular student is "special needs" (high functioning with some social implications) led to the incident involving me being injured. 

I feel kind of bad for the kid because he didn't really understand that he had hurt me, but knew he had done something wrong. We were practicing disarming and I am partially at fault for allowing him access to both my wrists, if I had gone for a one hand "aggressor" I could have controlled the situation. I put my trust in a stranger and it bit me in the ass. 

David thought it was necessary to take a photo while at the ER

Luckily, the nurses at Pullman Regional were extremely compassionate and David sat with me the whole time. Made the whole thing a little bit better all in all. Everyone has been understanding of my needs, and hopefully I'll be out of the right hand splint in a week. We'll see about the left hand, it hurts so badly to take the splint off for showers, I have a follow up next week to see if it is fractured. I'll keep you updated...

My Promise

Recently, my brother moved in with David and I to get a chance to start over. Thus far we have been on a good track, job application in, going for his permit tomorrow, hopefully his driver's license the week after. He and I have had some good heart to hearts and really gotten things out in the open so we can move forward in our relationship and his journey.

And I've made some promises, and I will keep them.

I promise to be there for every stumble, trip, fall on this path and be there to help pick him up.
I promise to help him get on his feet and move forward into a successful adulthood.
And I promise to love him and be the big sister he needs no matter what.

After years of being fairly hands off I'm stepping up to be the big sister I should have been a long time ago.

I promise to be a big sister and to take care of my little brother.

Trying to turn over a new leaf

Last week I started a pretty serious diet. Its the slim fast diet, and I'm taking in 1,000 calories or less a day plus daily exercise. It's only been for days but I feel a little bit better. I can't report my weight- our scale ran out of batteries weeks ago and I haven't replaced them. That's okay though, keeps me from obsessing over a number.

Usually changes like this are short lived because of my own failure, but I feel confident so far.

The only struggle I'm having right now is other people. Many of my friends are significantly smaller than me, both in height and weight, and don't seem to understand why I'm dieting. Mocking me, tempting me with food, telling me I don't need to diet... these things are not helpful. It doesn't matter of I say something, they just don't get that their words and actions hurt. Encouragement is what I need.

My goal is not to drop a ton of weight, a dress size at most. I want to like myself again. I want to feel comfortable in a bathing suit in Hawaii this summer.

So wish me luck and encouragement, I'm on day 4 of 90.

Getting stuff done makes life a little easier

Not procrastinating and getting things done early actually really helps take a little bit of stress away.
This weeks work schedule is rough, but now that I've finished the paper and drawing due Thursday I feel a little better.
Sometimes life seems crushing, and a little hopeless, but it makes it a little better when you realize there are things you can do to fix it.
Last night I was sick of life and ready to just hide in my bed until the end of the semester. Today I woke up and decided to fix what I could, find ways to cope with what I couldn't fix, and maybe take a deep breath or two.
Sometimes I forget that its possible to fix my own problems when there isn't an obvious answer. 

Putting in Time

I know everyone has to pay their dues and "put in their time" with crappy jobs but I'm so ready to be done.
I don't want to stink of grease every time I come home, have work crappy hours while being understaffed, loathe going to work, and wear the same three shirts and pants over and over.
I'm tired of this crappy job and I'm tired of being ashamed to tell people where I work.
I want to have pride in my work, to tell people that my job helps me grow as a person.
I want to be happy again.
Right now my job has led me down a road of unhappiness and self loathing. It's damn near impossible to make good dietary choices while working 8 hour shifts without any sort of breaks. I've only gained weight while working there.
I know it sounds like I'm bitching, but after nearly 2 years of this... I don't think I can do this anymore without breaking down.
Maybe its a combination of some mental health issues and lack of self esteem. I don't know. Whatever it is... its not a good thing right now. 

A Weekend Unlike Any Other

This weekend I performed my first wedding for my best friend and her now husband. It was an amazing experience.
My parents were amazing enough to let us hold the wedding in their home. We turned the living room into a make shift chapel, with the adjoining room as the cake area. Mom made the cake, and a groom's pie which turned out amazing.
The ceremony went really well with only one or two slip ups on my part, and only once did the dog decide to make himself heard (silly pup). I got a lot of good feed back from, not only the bride and groom, but most of the attendees. It felt good!
Bride and groom seemed happy and I'm glad I could do something special for my best friend. 

More Snow!

It's snowing here in Pullman again! We're expecting a total of about 10-14 inches by tomorrow night. Right now we're probably at 6-8 inches since it started snowing late last night.

The responses are split between childlike excitement and total disdain and loathing. Although, I've noticed those who are most resistant to the snow are those who wear Uggs and light North Face jackets instead of snow boots and a winter coat. Well, besides David who just resents the snow due to his fear of driving in it.

Grif is enjoying the snow again, although you can tell he misses Bella when we're outside. Overall, actually he has changed a lot since Bella left. We've had to seriously talk about possibly getting him a buddy. This weekend he's going to Seattle with me though so he'll get to see Bella and have some serious play time!

Off for a walk in the snow!

January?! Where'd you go?!

Where did the month of January go?!
Seriously, I can't believe its nearly over.
We are a few months out from the wedding, and graduation. Things are changing so quickly!

I'm at the point where I can't wait to start a full time job and be away from academia for a year or so.
The option of online graduate school through the state has become a very real possibility, so I'm definitely looking into that! It would be nice not to have to wait another 5 or so years to start grad school. Plus the tuition isn't awful (right around $3k a semester).

Next weekend I am performing my first wedding- I got ordained January 12 through the Universal Life Church of Seattle. I'm very excited and getting a little nervous! I have a couple of cool little subtle things planned for the ceremony that I can't talk about yet, because its a surprise for the bride! I will hopefully post some pictures after the wedding! I've joked that if I enjoy this I might freelance minister for weddings around Pullman haha! Doubt it!

There isn't too much else to report, just school and work, school and work, school and work. If anything exciting happens I will let you know...

Personal Growth- an awesome feeling

Every once in a while you recognize that  you've grown as a person.
Sometimes its obvious- you grow a few inches taller, or your hair changes colors.
Sometimes it isn't- an opinion, a belief, a philosophy that has grown/changed.

A year ago I would have told anyone and everyone that I would never own, go near, or interact with a pitbull, or a pitbull mix.
Tonight, I sit on the couch with two pit mixes cuddled up after a long walk in the snow.

Grif is one of the single most kind, gentle, loving dog I've ever met. He revivals my childhood dog, Mac. Grif will let me do just about anything, has no qualms about being touched or thrown around, loves to be a couch potato, pretty smart (he has his moments of dumb), and adores children. He's been mauled by children he doesn't know in the park, has sat quietly waiting to be allowed to sniff our neighbors infant, and has guarded me against questionable characters.
He's also quite obviously part pit bull.

I've met many pits over the last year, and have yet to meet one I don't love.

Biases I had against pits are gone. That's not to say I'm not cautious- everyone should be cautious around any dog/animal they aren't familiar with!

I've educated myself, pit bulls have been inbred by bad people, and the reputation comes from media and the actions of bad people. The dogs themselves are victims a lot of the time. I mean in every breed, species, civilization there are bad apples, but as a whole are good. Pits are not an exception to this rule.

Did you know that there are about 300 million pits in the US at any one time? They are the most bred dogs in the US. For every 1 pit that gets adopted, 599 will be euthanized. Its really horribly sad. There are few other breeds that have the same bias against them, while still being bred at such a rate! Education is needed, I needed it and I like to think I'm a pretty smart person, which means a lot of people need it! Uneducated people are banning pits in cities across the country. They aren't even the "Most vicious" breeds out there... odds of being pit by a pit rival those of being bit by a labrador.

Things I have said before about pits were ignorant, hateful, and uneducated ramblings. And I apologize for them. I am redetermined to keep learning, living, and growing. If I was wrong about pits, what else am I wrong about? I can't wait to broaden my views and become a better human being. 

This is My Year

2013 is going to be my year.

I'm graduating with my Bachelor's degree in History in May.
Getting married in June.
Starting my first full time job this summer. 

And who knows what other adventures lie ahead!

This year is my year, its going to be awesome. 

My birthday was a little out of the ordinary this year, but still quite wonderful. Its the first year I've celebrated without family, but my friends and David definitely made up for it. David and I started the day with a massive breakfast at our favorite restaurant, and then took most of the day to relax. After David went to work some friends came over and we played Cards Against Humanity, and ate pizza. I thoroughly enjoyed myself, even though my family was so far away.

Next week I start classes and go back to work, and then next weekend I travel to Seattle for the wedding show.

This is my year, and I'm going to make the most of it!