Life Manual

There is no manual that you are handed as you grow up telling you the right and wrongs and how to go through life.
We wish there was, and some people use religious texts, novels, and other things as that guide. For some it works, for others it doesn't.
Sometimes as we get older we have sudden flashes of our past brought on by sights, smells, sounds.
I had one of those today, walking to David's place. The sun was out, and it was a beautiful brisk morning on the Palouse. I had flash of a memory of being with my Grandma Laverne. It caught my off guard and I wasn't at all expecting it. Its been so long since Grandma Laverne passed away that I've accepted it and have gone on, but this sudden memory flooded me with emotion. Happy and sad. Emotions of a small child hunting Easter eggs in Grandma's back yard, the raw joy of finding that elusive egg in the bush. And then the sadness of knowing I'd never see her kind face again. That she would never be around to see me married.
I know I'm not the only one who feels these things, or experiences them. They say that smell is the strongest form of memory recall. I couldn't agree more in most cases. But how do other people deal with these sudden flashes? I guess most people just don't talk about them. In that case I will admit I am kind of a freak. Talking things out is the best way for my to accept and move on from most things.
My memory today brought on sadness that the one way of life I have always known is nearing its end. The chapter of structure of being a student and a child is closing. There's no turning back. No changing what is going to come. Its not a bad thing, its part of life. The unconditional support at all turns from Mom and Dad will be ending soon too. I for one would love to be financially independent. Completely independent. And I'm working on it, I feel like it will help me move into the full adulthood I crave. This half adult, have child thing that I'm doing as a college student financially dependent on my parents is driving me insane! The guilt and frustration is hard to handle along with the stress of school on top of it. But again, its a learning curve, there is no "Life Manual" to look into and find the section on "Becoming Independent".
I have to say, at times I'd kill for a manual on how to live, but honestly I also realize that who I am and how I look at the world comes from how I experience it.
I am who I am because of the mistakes I make and how I learn from them.
And I have to say, so far I like who I'm turning out to be so far.